Wednesday, 3 February 2016

Positive Thinking Shines Through

For the past few years I've felt proud of myself for adjusting to and coping with ME. Living within my limits had become the norm and rarely did I think of the past and who I used to be. A few months back I began to struggle with feelings of inadequacy; feeling resentful of ME for taking away the strengths I had and leaving me dependant and useless.  These thoughts are poisonous and so I've been working hard to find the new strengths that ME has given me. 

I've been doing well and was happy with my progress.  Then this week I was kindly invited to a zumba class to socialise,  sit and wave my arms to the music.  I was grateful for the invitation,  it's not easy for people to invite someone who often has to say no,  so I accepted and looked forward to it.

The friends I met with there were lovely and supportive and I felt glad I had made the effort to go.  That is,  until the music and exercise started.  I suddenly found myself thinking of all the memories of my own daily exercises that I would really enjoy and make me feel so energised and on top of the world.  The music made me reminisce of the many,  many nights I would spend dancing for hours.  It was one of my favourite things to do.  The memories overcame me and I felt really emotional,  nostalgic and wished with everything I had that I could have those times again.  But I knew that one minute would have me knocked out for a week.

It was a long,  hard hour and I had to look really deeply to find the positives of living with ME.  But I did it,  and I'm constantly reminding myself so that I always know. I AM thankful for the lessons I'm being taught; patience,  humility,  strength from within being just a few.  There are more lessons I learn everyday that are making me into a better person.  I just know that without this it would be much harder for me to become the person I want to be. If I had everything I wanted,  why would I want to improve myself?

As I said earlier I'm constantly reminding myself of the good points to having ME,  because the negative thoughts don't go away easily,  but today I read a post in this blog ( I absolutely love for its positivity and creativity and this wonderful lady had said exactly what I needed to hear to help me combat those thoughts more easily. Reading Roald Dahl's 'The Twits'  she had come across the quote (above)  and said this about it "The more you dwell on the negatives, or being annoyed about something, or thinking of all you don't have in the world, the more it dampens your spirit. Normally this teams up with a sour face too, and frowning. When we think of wholesome things, and positive things, and what we are grateful for, then surely that does, as Dahl describes so succinctly,shine out of us!"

How perfect for me right now. Its not all about accomplishments,  talents,  looks,  capabilities, or intelligence. Kindness,  positivity and good thoughts will always shine through!