Wednesday, 3 February 2016

Fighting Negativity

One of the first signs I get that my health is deteriorating is that I get quick to anger,  easily annoyed,  worry more and generally can't cope with life.  It's hard enough trying to cope with pain and extreme exhaustion that I don't want to have to make the extra effort to be happy and nice,  and it does seem like a big effort is required to be happy and nice at those times.

I have quite a few days like this, but it doesn't take long now before I know I need to make that effort or write the whole day off.  Once those negative feelings are given any permission they begin to spiral and have knock on effects.  My anger and annoyance are usually taken out on those closest to me, causing them to feel upset,  hard done to and can hurt their self esteem.  My sadness and self pity create a wall around me blocking anybody from coming in to help me out of it. I end up alone and worse off than where I started.

I've learned the hard way that feeling anger,  sadness,  and self pity don't change anything about my situation.  I still have to live with it.  And living with it becomes so much nicer when I've made the effort to be patient,  kind and happy.

It's not easy changing from negative to positive.  But this is what I find helps me :

Accepting the bad things - time and time again I have to accept my lot and endeavour to make the most of a bad situation.  I don't want M.E who does?  But I have it and it will be what I make of it.  This condition can make me or break me so I choose to learn from it and grow from it ...  And,  knowing me,  I'll have to remind myself daily that I choose that!

Changing my environment -  If I'm alone,  then I go to where there is company (or they come to me),  if I'm with company then I take myself to where I can be alone.  If I can't move due to ME / chronic fatigue syndrome,  then I put some music on,  read a book or watch a film...  Anything to distract me from the negative thoughts.

Laughter - this is the most important one.  Nothing lightens  the mood or takes away the pressures of life like laughing.  My husband and kids provide me with plenty to laugh at,  but when they're not around I watch comedies,  or search the Internet for funny YouTube clips or funny photos.

Talking it out or writing it down - getting those feelings out in the open help me to see things more clearly and takes the weight out of the feelings so they're easier to let go of. Often I see that I've created problems where there are none,  but it's not till I've looked at them objectively that I can realise that.

Never lose hope -  life won't always be like this.  Even if it feels like this will last forever,  it won't.  Brighter days are coming :)